| Nearing the end. |
[04 Oct 2005|09:48am] |
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mood |
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 blah |
] |
Yep, so this journal is going to be obsolete (again, what is this, like my 10th lj?)
I'll post up the new lj when I'm ready.
Adios~
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| Ok, so... |
[02 Oct 2005|04:34pm] |
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mood |
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 crappy |
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music |
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the fan in mi room |
] |
...I've come to realize in the past months, or maybe just since last night, that the way I care for and treat my friends, isn't recipricated, ever.
Is it my choice in friends? More than likely.
And why is it that you continue to hang around these people, you may ask?
...and I got nothin.
It just seems to me that I treat them with the respect and dignity that I would any other human being, and in return I blown off and lumped in with the rest of the douche bags on this forsaken planet. I feel that I can bring something special into someone's life, if given the chance. But most people, I've noticed, aren't like me, which sucks.
So yeah, I don't know what to do or how to go about it... It's damned frustrating at times. Because after all, I do consider these people my friends, whatever though.
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| Update v.2.0 |
[26 Sep 2005|11:50am] |
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mood |
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 content |
] |
| [ |
music |
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between the buried and me - backwards marathon |
] |
So yeah, it's been what, a year since I've updated this thing? I don't really even feel like updating it, as for some reason, I don't really like dealing with these internet feeling portals.
I see them as a cry for help more than anything, unless your posting random funny shit or something interesting to read. Otherwise, it's all bs.
Things are good, all I do is work now. New person in the life. She's pretty fucking amazing. So much so that when I get to work and have to count out a drawer, for example, I can't even do it because it's like she's fogging my mind. It's nuts, and good, and all that.
yeah anyway, if you haven't already, get the new btbam. As a matter of fact, do yourself a favor and just get all of their CD's. No other band sounds, can sound, will sound like these guys and to be honest, they are probably way too underrated. Everyone just kind of blows them off because it's not breakdown fest 2005, or they aren't singing about God or whatever their reason is. Well fuck your reason and open your god damn mind and appreciate a band that hasn't any boundaries and can pretty much write circles around any of the bands you listen to. That's right, I said it, your band sucks and so does your musical taste.
Haha, actually, I hate talking about music around people that don't talk about music otherwise, because if you pay attention, you can see that they don't give a shit, and probably never will. It's just something that's not important to them, which I can't say that I blame them.
Anyway, I'm done. So have fun reading this Mike, as I'm sure you're probably the only person I really wrote this for anyway. It's not directed at you, you know that.
Kiss the rings bitch, I'm out. (for another year or so)
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| To everyone... |
[23 Apr 2005|12:23pm] |
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mood |
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accomplished |
] |
If I've fucked you over in some way, hurt your feelings, etc., I appologize. If you want to scream at me or just talk about stuff, call me 505-760-7011. I'm posting this here because some people don't always get a chance to see me or vice versa and I'd like to change things, make amends. Being miserable because I've made others miserable sucks ass and I don't want it anymore.
Peace.
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| Ok, ok...enough is enough. |
[20 Apr 2005|10:27am] |
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mood |
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 busy |
] |
As much as I try, I just can't stay pissed at people. I don't even know why I try. I guess I feel like I don't follow through with stuff if I can't even stay pissed at someone? Hah, I don't know...
Mike is like, "Hey dude, call me." So I call back and he's not even home. Pfff.
Gotta get back to packing, cuz I'm out of this run down apt on Friday.
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| For Mike... |
[17 Apr 2005|12:11pm] |
Fuck this town and everyone in it, besides my mom, Jan, a few select friends, my dad, and like, some other people, I guess.
There, happy Mike?
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| Oh yeah! |
[02 Dec 2004|10:50am] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Every Time I Die - Punch-Drunk Punk Rock Romance |
] |
Oh yeah, what's that?
I am love?
I AM LOVE?
That's right, bow down bitches.
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| The Whoo-deenie |
[23 Nov 2004|08:13pm] |
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mood |
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 blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
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the tv |
] |
Yeah, well, life is teetering in the balance.
Not really. Life is definitely changing. For the better? For the worse? Who's to know?
But what I do know, is I can't wait to find out and I hope everything goes smoothly, and that I can actually follow through with it. Over the course of the past week or so, I've gained a new perspective on how well I handle certain things, how I react to them, and most importantly, how I deal with them.
Of course, it hasn't been an easy process but most in my boat say it isn't. My mother and Mike have been quite the happy-helpertons. Not in a bad way, of course.
I want to leave town for like a month and just live. I want to go mooch off of someone for a month in a kick-ass city and just have fun.
I need some release...
This keyboard I'm using sucks.
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| Good Lord... |
[12 Oct 2004|09:22am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 fuck class |
] |
| [ |
music |
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the churning of the p.o.s. i sit in front of |
] |
Yeah, Mike's update inspired me to update too.
Nothing new.
Megan and I's 2 year anniversary is today, whoopy, I'm poor.
School sucks, work is cool (Weird huh?)
I'm out.
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| Actually... |
[22 Sep 2004|11:44am] |
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mood |
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content |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Silent Drive - Broken Hearts Club |
] |
...this post is just to get that lost one off the top, because seriously, who wants to keep reading that shit?
Anyway, if anyone can help me find Silent Drive merch, NOT the CD, I will pay for it plus pay you some.
That is all.
But yeah, if you want some good music, check out Silent Drive.
www.silentdrive.net
Yeah, good stuff.
Peace.
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| Hmm, erm, well... |
[28 Jul 2004|05:17pm] |
...where do I start?
It's been the absolute shittiest past month and a half of my life. To add the already heavy weight of losing my grandfather, I was kicked out of the band I was in for my "shitty attitude" (like that wasn't hard to figure out why I had it in the first place) and my truck was just recently stolen, and I lost my scholarship and almost my job for this above said band.
The band thing sucks because I had no say and no help from anyone in the decision making process. I haven't said anything about it or do I really care. It was a stupid argument over why I had my door to my room locked, oops, oh wait, the practice room that I spend 200 dollars a month to sleep and store my stuff in. I know why I had a shitty attitude and it was a direct reflection of a certain person in the band. I only felt and acted the way I did because of the way I was, along with the other members, being treated and were, apparently, only considered "expendable assets." Well fuck that shit, I'm tired of being held responsible for everything that goes terribly wrong. But apparently, haha, they're moving on, hahaha, with some other dudes. I know they'll get it in the end.
Anyway, I plan on moving out of the "practice space" and into my OWN home and room.
So anyway, have a great day. Actually, I take that back, I hope you have a miserable day and the world as you know it, comes crashing down and implodes on you.
Bad day to you sir.
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| ...well... |
[02 Jul 2004|09:19pm] |
...My Grandpa passed away about a few hours ago. He was a great man, Marlon Brando didn't amount to a pimple on my grandfathers ass, but nonetheless they were both great men.
It still hasn't hit me that he's really gone. I know I'll be an emotional wreck when the funeral comes. I don't know why I'm like that, I'm completely crushed right now but I can't cry. I don't know, it's weird. I'll miss him a lot.
Until next time...
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| Good week/shitty week |
[30 Jun 2004|06:15pm] |
Well according to this thing I'm pretty fucking sweet.
Anyway, got back from tour last week, best 8 days of my entire life, it gave me a whole new outlook on life. Those CT/KF guys helped me a lot of ways, especially get out of my weird shell. Anyway, thank you CT and KF dudes.
Get back and not 3 days later I hear my grandpa is in a coma and will not make it without life support, which his living will says he doesn't want. Sucks majorly, he was an awesome man. If you ever met him you'd see where I get my humor, lax attidude, and total good looks and eyes and super pimpness.
He's going to get a full on military funeral, he was a Lt. Col. in the air force and flew over several thousand missions. He even was support at Omaha bay in Germany (D-Day, part of). He was theman.
I'm out.
By the way, go out and buy the new Unearth. It's killer metal.
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| tour so far... |
[19 Jun 2004|07:02pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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mellow |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Arch Enemy - Burning the Bridges |
] |
Tour is great. We're in Clovis with the coolest guys I've ever met in my life. I totally relate to each and every one of them, by far the coolest past 3 days of my entire life.
We have a show here tonight, it's going to be a blast if everyone shows up.
I'll update probably when I get back.
Please, do yourself a favor and check out these two bands, at least listen to some great music.
Capital Tradegy & Kill Franklyn
Peace.
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| Tizour... |
[15 Jun 2004|11:46am] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
] |
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music |
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Mike Tyson's Punch Out |
] |
...day before tour starts. I really can't wait.
Also, I'm cutting my hair at 5 today. Good riddance.
Anyway, yeah.
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[27 May 2004|03:02pm] |
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mood |
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content |
] |
| [ |
music |
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ETID - Floater |
] |
Things are back to normal. Finally, I can sleep peacefully once more.
Oh yeah, we're going on tour! With Kill Franklyn and Capital Tragedy. That is going to be fun.
Anyhoo, I'm out to play some UT 2004.
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| A Week Off... |
[10 May 2004|04:13am] |
| [ |
mood |
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content |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Unearth - Endless |
] |
Thank God. A week of doing what ever it is I please. I really need this week, really bad.
I made up and have come to a truce with an awesome friend of mine, great way to start off the coming week.
Other things have happened lately that have got me in a confused state of mind, but whatever, I'm off bitch.
Anyhoo, I'm going to bed (note the time.)
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| Oh God... |
[30 Apr 2004|03:38pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 annoyed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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None. |
] |
It's nice how people just loooove to hold on to something and milk it for all it's worth instead of just accepting what happened and move on with life.
But no, that'd be way to easy. Hell, maybe it's just me...
I guess it's just something about this town and it's inhabitants that makes them retarded.
It was nice about 2 weeks ago, everything was drama free and had been for months. It was peaceful and the minute someone gets a whiff of anything it turns into a shit fest again.
Fuck most of the people I'm associated with, they are all a bunch of two-faced, bitches anyway. They love to withhold information too, what's up with that?
No one seems to care about my feelings, it's just the feelings of others. "Chip's an asshole. Chip is this, Chip is that." Fuck you.
See if I help you out anymore.
As I ended my last post: Kiss the rings bitch, I'm out.
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| If it's not one thing, it's always another... |
[28 Apr 2004|11:59pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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el Volta |
] |
Life has been the hardest and weirdest it's ever been in my entire life the past couple of weeks.
Lots of stuff, I don't want to repeat for the sake of people involved and personal reasons, but a lot of difficult decisions. I've lost a couple of friends, almost fucked a serious friendship, and will probably loose more in the coming days.
Tonight foreshadowed that a bit...
I guess this is what I deserve for making my own decisions and being my own person but at the same time hurting someone I didn't want to hurt, things got a little too involved. Play with fire and you'll get burned. Isn't that how I goes? For every good thing, there is an automatic bad thing. Steph is right.
So now, here I sit, on the night I can do anything, the best night, usually, during the week, and I'm at home because I fear that no one really wants to be around me anymore. Hell, I was called to go hang out with someone today and when I went to hang out, I wasn't even hung with. And other people showed and didn't even stay or really, for that matter, even talk to me when the night before we was chattin' and smokin'.
Whatever, I guess that's my punishment. All in the name of love too. And as corny as they may sound, it's true.
No use sitting and typing out my frustrations on a god damn journal and an on-line one at that, but I'm doing it anyway.
This is were I go on about "fuck you and fuck this."
Fuck you and fuck this.
Kiss the rings bitch, I'm out.
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